


More Than Words

by darkaklab



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Ice Skating, Kissing, M/M, alternate title: yuuri cries a lot, some angst i guess?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-27
Updated: 2016-11-27
Packaged: 2018-09-02 12:11:46
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,654
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8667028
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/darkaklab/pseuds/darkaklab
Summary: Yuuri is wondering what Victor will do after he's done being his coach, and Victor is having trouble expressing how he feels with words alone.





	

**Author's Note:**

> This is actually the first fanfiction I've written in years, so please bare with me. Trying to pass the time while waiting for episode 9, God I hope everything will be ok. (Though this fic takes place right after ep 9 so I might change some things after it airs.)
> 
> UPDATE: well the first part was kind of blown out of the water because of episode 9, I'll go back and edit it to fit better

As much as he loved Katsudon, his craving wasn’t really there. He was too busy stealing glances of the man that was sitting across from him, possibly the only thing he loved more than pork cutlet bowls. Victor had been drinking Sake before they had started dinner. His face was flushed as he watched Yuuri eat. Victor’s eyes gleamed with curiosity. Usually Yuuri would’ve finished the Katsudon by now, it was his favourite after all.

“Yuuri?” Victor’s melodic voice caught his attention, Yuuri paused from playing around with the rice still left in his bowl.

“Eh?” He looked up to Victor, 

“Is there something wrong Yuuri? I thought you were hungry.” Victor rested his head in his hand as he watched Yuuri’s eyes avoid his gaze. There was a long pause.

“I’m just tired that’s all.” Yuuri continued to pick small clumps of rice into his mouth with his chopsticks. Victor continued to watch, he could see that Yuuri was trying to avoid looking at him. His eyes were heavy, aimed down at his bowl.

Usually if Yuuri was upset he would be binge eating, but what was it now that could possibly make him lose his appetite? Victor pondered these things, wondering what could be bothering Yuuri so much. Now that Makkachin was recovering and Yuuri had won the Rostelecom Cup, was he worried about the Grand Prix final? Even after he’d done so well during his free skate without Victor being there to coach him, he should be confident in his abilities by now shouldn’t he? He’d come so far from where he started, what could be on his mind?

Finally Yuuri had finished eating. He stood up now still refusing to look at Victor.

“Goodnight Victor.” he said, slowly exiting the room. Victor wasn’t about to let Yuuri slip away.

“Yuuri.” His voice was low now. Yuuri paused in the doorway. “Sleep in my bed tonight.”  Victor stood up now and approached him. Together they walked to Victor’s room, silently. Yuuri’s face was slightly red though he still avoided Victor’s eyes. When they reached the room, Victor sat down on his bed and patted the spot beside him. Yuuri reluctantly sat next to him. 

“Something’s bothering you.” Yuuri turned away from him. “Is there something I should know about?” His seeming aversion towards him made Victor uneasy. Yuuri’s continued silence was worrying. A pool of guilt started to form in Victor’s stomach. Maybe Yuuri wasn’t worried about skating at all. Maybe it was his own fault that Yuuri was acting like this. “Have I been making you uncomfortable Yuuri? Do you dislike me?” The words almost hurt to say. Maybe he’d been too forward with Yuuri, had he assumed too much of him? Maybe he didn’t share similar feelings for him at all.

Finally Yuuri looked to him. There were tears resting in his eyes, getting ready to fall. Victor was alarmed, maybe he had been too much.

“No Victor, I don’t dislike you.” Yuuri’s voice was quiet, Victor was a little bit relieved but still unsettled because he didn’t know why Yuuri looked like he was about to cry. “What are you going to do after this season is over? After you’re done being my coach, what are you going to do? Will you go back to Russia?” Yuuri’s voice was unusually calm, but the question had surprised Victor. He himself had avoided thinking of what he would do. 

“Why are you asking me this? What do you want me to say?” He was intrigued, was Yuuri worried that he was going to leave him? Yuuri was quiet for a moment.

“How long will you stay with me Victor? How long will this last before you get tired of me? What happens when I no longer surprise you? Will you get bored of me? Will you leave?” Yuuri’s tears began to fall. Victor himself was saddened by the fact that Yuuri thought he might leave him one day.

“I’ll stay as long as it takes. As long as you’ll let me stay.”

“Would you be happy like that? What if I wanted you to stay forever?” Victor looked at Yuuri wide eyed. He then smiled gently.

“Yuuri, you’re the only person I’ve ever wanted to stay with. Why wouldn’t I be happy? As long as you’re willing to keep me, that’s all I need to be happy.”

“Victor...” Yuuri trailed off, wiping tears from his eyes. “What am I to you?” Victor stared at him.

“Beautiful.”  He said low, but he was surprised when Yuuri shook his head.

“No Victor, what do I  _ mean  _ to you?” For once in his life Victor was left speechless. He had the feeling, but he couldn’t quite put it into words. Though he knew how he would be able to express it to him through skating. One day he would have to show him. Yuuri was looking a bit distraught at Victor’s lack of response. For now he would have to put his feelings into words, though they wouldn’t do much justice to how he really felt.

“Eros...” He paused to think, that wasn’t quite it. “and Agape.” he paused again with a finger resting on his mouth. “And something else entirely that I can’t really explain.”

“You could try.” Yuuri said quietly. Victor sighed. He took Yuuri’s hand and placed it on his chest.

“Do you feel that?” Victor stared at him. Yuuri nodded. “Do you feel how fast it’s beating? That’s what it does every time I see you. When I watch you skate it’s like you bring life to me.” He could see that Yuuri was blushing, eyes wide and full of promise. Victor took Yuuri’s hand away from his chest and put it up to his lips. “There’s something I want to show you.”

“What is it Victor?” Yuuri no longer seemed to be upset, just a little mellow after he’d been crying.

“Let’s go to the skating rink.”

* * *

  
  


 

When they had arrived the rink lights were off, only the moon and various lights outside illuminated the ice through the tall windows of Ice Castle Hasetsu. 

“Can you see well enough in here?” Victor asked, Yuuri nodded though his eyes were still adjusting to the low amount of light. He heard the echo of Victor’s skates as he stepped onto the gleaming frozen surface. His eyes followed him intently. What did he want to show him? When Victor stopped at his place Yuuri immediately recognized the stance he took. Victor lifted his eyes to the ceiling as he began to skate his old free program. Yuuri could practically hear the music of Stay Close to Me as he glided over the ice. He had watched Victor skate this program hundreds of times, replaying videos or watching him skate it on TV, and even a few times in practice, but he’d never seen Victor skate it quite like this. There was a slight smile on his face as he told the story with his body. He could practically hear the words being sung.

 

_ Sento una voce che piange lontano _

_ (I hear a voice crying far away) _

_ Anche tu sei stato forse abbandonato _

_ (Have you been abandoned as well?) _

 

His first jump, a quadruple lutz was landed perfectly, and he continued to move his way around the ice.

 

_ Orsù finisca presto questo calice di vino _

_ (Come now, let’s empty this glass of wine soon) _

_ Inizio a prepararmi _

_ (I’ll start getting ready) _

_ Adesso fa’ silenzio _

_ (Now be silent.) _

Instead of doing a quadruple flip, as he’d done in the past, he replaced it with part of the step sequence he’d choreographed for Yurio’s Agape performance, and glided back into the position where he looked like he was praying to the sky. This change surprised Yuuri.

 

_ Con una spada vorrei tagliare _

_ (With a sword I wish I could cut)  _

_ Quelle gole che cantano d'amore _

_ (Those throats singing about love) _

_ Vorrei serrar nel gelo le mani  _

_ (I wish I could seal in the cold the hands) _

_ Che esprimono quei versi d'ardente passione _

_ (That portray those verses of burning passion) _

 

Victor entered into a flying sit spin, gracefully circling on the ice. Yuuri could feel his heart pounding. Was this what Victor meant when he said that he saw how Yuuri’s body seemed to make music? In this present moment Yuuri could feel that Victor was the music, yet in a way it was entirely new. Like another voice had joined in, portraying a different side of the story. 

 

_ Questa storia che senso non ha _

_ (This story that makes no sense) _

_ Svanirà questa notte assieme alle stelle _

_ (Will vanish tonight along with the stars) _

 

A quadruple toe loop then a triple toe loop, after the perfect landing Victor turned and spread his arms like he was flying. This mirrored the movement in Yuuri’s free skate where he had realized something like love. Yuuri covered his mouth in surprise as he watched Victor perform parts of his own free skate routine. Was this the feeling that Victor got while watching Yuuri skate? There was something magical about the way Victor moved, knowing how it felt to perform something like this himself, but this was different. He’d never seen Victor like this before. Maybe it was the expression on his face as he went into a triple axel. There was love in Victor’s eyes, joy, and a hint of something else. Yuuri couldn’t help but feel emotion well up inside him. His eyes began to water.

 

_ Se potessi vederti _

_ (If I could see you) _

_ Dalla speranza nascerà _

_ (From hope)  _

_ L’eternità _

_ (Eternity will be born) _

_ Stammi vicino _

_ (Stay close to me) _

_ Non te ne andare _

_ (Don’t go) _

_ Ho paura di perderti _

_ (I’m afraid of losing you) _

 

Victor now replaced some of his sequence with moves from Yuuri’s Eros performance. Yuuri instantly recognized the moves that he had spent months trying to perfect. Then a quadruple Salchow. Yuuri couldn’t help but feel a bit flustered, yet in awe at how perfect Victor was on the ice. This was something that the world had never seen before, only Yuuri had the pleasure of watching Victor tell this story. Only Yuuri knew what it meant. As difficult as it had been for Victor to describe how he felt in words, truly Victor was a man of action. He spoke in the language of skating and Yuuri thought that was beautiful.

 

_ Le tue mani, le tue gambe _

_ (Your hands, your legs) _

_ Le mie mani, le mie gambe _

_ (My hands, my legs) _

_ I battiti del cuore _

_ (The heartbeats) _

_ Si fondono tra loro _

_ (Are fusing together) _

 

A triple lutz, then a triple flip. Victor made his way around the ice to where Yuuri watched and circled his hands around Yuuri’s face, close with a delicate smile, then pushed back to the middle of the rink. Yuuri could feel Victor pulling his heart as he moved away. A sense of longing gripped Yuuri. He wanted to be on the ice with Victor. He wanted to be close to him, by his side.

 

_ Partiamo insieme _

_ (Let’s leave together) _

_ Ora sono pronto _

_ (Now I’m ready) _

 

A triple lutz, triple toe loop combination engaged Yuuri as he watched Victor mirror the second half of Yuuri’s free skate routine.Taking the step sequence and forming it into something new. Changing the choreography, making gestures in Yuuri’s direction and gliding around the rink taking it into a quadruple flip, as Yuuri had done to surprise Victor during the cup of China. A camel spin into a flying sit spin combination marking the end of Victor’s free performance, was combined into the end pose of Yuuri’s free skate routine. 

Yuuri couldn’t help the tears streaming down his face. He understood now what he meant to Victor. It was all there, he wished he could’ve watched him skate forever. But as Victor held Yuuri’s free program end pose, one hand on his chest, the other hand outstretched towards him, he could see Victor was exhausted. 

Victor dropped the pose. His hands on his knees, now panting as Yuuri ran to him. He barely stopped himself from colliding with Victor as he stood up and caught Yuuri in his arms. They both slid back on the ice, drifting to the far wall. For a short moment Yuuri buried his face in Victor’s shoulder, taking in his warmth and breathing in his scent. He could feel Victor’s heavy breath on his hair as he was still recovering from his performance.

It was Yuuri’s turn to be speechless now. His mind was empty except for the reminder of Victor’s presence, and a warm feeling that was rising in his chest. He didn’t want to let go. To be held here forever, in Victor’s arms was a dream, with the cool air of the rink, drifting across the ice. It was perfect. Yuuri had never felt more at home. He could feel Victor’s heart beat again, becoming aware of his own quickening heartbeat as well. 

Yuuri leaned into him further as he looked up to Victor’s eyes. Victor was surprised to see the tears that glistened on Yuuri’s skin, but he relaxed realizing that they were tears of happiness. Victor folded his hands at the small of Yuuri’s back pulling him closer and pressing their bodies together.

“Do you understand now?” Victor murmured, eyes heavy and lidded, waiting for Yuuri’s response. Yuuri placed his hands on either side of Victor’s face, running his thumb over his flushed skin. A smile formed on Yuuri’s lips, his eyes still gleaming with tears. A small laugh lightened Yuuri’s face and he nodded. Victor gave a contented smile in return. He couldn’t help but love the way Yuuri looked at him right now. He was so beautiful, blushing, eyes fixed on him. 

Overcome with emotion Yuuri moved his hands into Victor’s hair and brought their lips together. He could tell Victor was surprised as his grip on his back slightly loosened but then was pulled in tighter as Victor returned the kiss. Breathing in deeply Victor couldn’t help himself. Ever since he’d gotten the first taste of Yuuri at the cup of China he’d been wanting more, hoping that Yuuri would make a move, reassuring that he hadn’t gone too far. This is what he’d been waiting for.

Yuuri was very eager, inexperienced, but incredibly passionate. This fact made Victor smile as he continued to kiss Yuuri. As imperfect as it was Victor loved every second of it. Yuuri was so innocent, untouched by any other. Victor had him all to himself. In his eyes Yuuri was perfect. It felt so good to be in the grasp of someone who understood him. Victor didn’t feel alone anymore, and neither did Yuuri.

The kissing slowed and eventually Yuuri pulled away to see Victor’s expression. His eyes were closed in a content smile, cheeks flushed red and he laughed a little. Victor opened his eyes to see Yuuri’s incredibly red face. He looked a embarrassed but his eyes were fixed on Victor. 

“You never cease to surprise me Yuuri.” He rested his forehead against Yuuri’s. He took in a deep breath, before letting the words out of his mouth. “I love you.” 

He’d never said that to anyone before, truly and wholeheartedly, despite being with several people in the past. The words just never felt right until now. A warm feeling blossomed in his chest.  Hearing the words in his voice felt strange, but he had a feeling they would become more familiar as he spent more time with Yuuri.

Yuuri’s eyes widened, then began to water again, though he had dawned a big smile. He couldn’t keep his happiness from showing during this surreal moment. Victor was no longer a fantasy, he was his reality. He was here with him, and he Yuuri knew that he would stay. His voice nearly caught in his throat as he spoke.

“I love you too.”

**Author's Note:**

> I tried my best to accurately describe ice skating but I know nothing about it really. Had some help with the ice skating terminology with this post: http://hermajestytheempressariana.tumblr.com/post/153588636741/arianas-figure-skating-masterpost
> 
> and had Stay Close to Me lyrics from this post:  
> http://eternalbutterflies.tumblr.com/post/153161839313/stay-close-to-me-and-victuuri-relationship
> 
> so if anything seems weird please let me know so I can fix it.


End file.
